Thankful For Winchester

Well, I've got to add to the long list of people today who are posting what they are thankful for. I've decided i'd like to make a collective list of things that i'm thankful for since moving to Winchester. Even though I have decided to move back to Ohio next month, I am still in awe of the ways God has worked in my life over these last few months (even when it's been so incredibly tough.)

So let's get started!

I am thankful that...

• Jesus is King, even when I try to rule over my own life during certain times, even when I claim to be anything but His. He somehow always brings me back to Him, and that is the biggest blessing of my life. 
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• I was hired at Planet Fitness when I moved to Winchester. Throughout my time here getting to know my wonderful coworkers, I have gotten to experience so much community and life with them. They make me laugh on the daily, and have cared for me so well. I will miss them all dearly when I move back home, but I know we will all still keep in touch.
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• Even though my anxiety and depression have come in waves, often crashing unexpectedly, I have continued learning how much I still need Jesus. I think it's easy for us to forget about that sometimes when life is going well, and moving to Winchester has forced me to recognize that fact again. I hope I continue to learn this.
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• I met Micah. He is so incredibly sweet to me. He shows me Jesus in the way he cares for me and my heart and my life. He is always so quick to offer up himself to serve me well, and always goes the extra mile to reassure me how much he thinks of me and how loved I am by God. His intentionality is something I’ve prayed over for so long.
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• I have had the opportunity to move into my Young Life Area Director and his wife’s house. Ben and Jill have blessed me so much since moving here – Whether it be with food, friendship, their time, and especially their home, they never hesitate to offer up what they can to help me out. Their kindness, laughter, and willingness to share Jesus with me has been crucial for me.
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• I have made so many new friends since moving here. I have met so many kind, caring, funny, smart, charismatic, genuine people and my heart is so full because of them. Although our time has been short, it has been so full.
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• Moving away makes you realize how much you already had back at home. It’s so easy for us to desire and long for more, to not be thankful for what we already have. My time away has made me appreciate my home, my family, and my friends on a level I didn’t know was possible. In all of the little and big things, easy and hard, they have helped mold me into who I am and who I continue to grow to be. I would never take back my time in Winchester, but it sure does make me thankful for life back home. I know I will move away again someday, and I will make sure to take this lesson with me when I go.

There are many more things I am thankful for, that I have learned, and that God is doing in my life. This was just a short list. I encourage you to make your own list today, to share it with the people you care most about. I’m praying for blessings headed your way, for a great day with family and friends, and for lots of yummy food. Be blessed, y’all. 

Winchester - Month One

                My first month in Winchester has officially come and gone, and WOW have I enjoyed my time.

               The first few days were so fun! So many new faces, yummy food, and so many laughs, but the following week was really hard. Two of my roommates were out of town, and the other one had to work a lot. I felt very lonely and missed home a lot – All of my people and all of my places. I cried quite a few times wondering if I had made the right decision in moving to Winchester. I talked to my counselor about it (shout out to Lisa, she’s literally the best) and she suggested trying to fill my time as much as I could. To go read somewhere, site see (I live in a historical district so that’s neat), meet more people and make plans with them.. So I did!

                I went to this cute ‘lil coffee shop called Hopscotch near my house. I read, wrote letters to some friends, had some quite time, and painted. I decided this would be my new spot – It reminds me of Scouts/Coffee Expressions from back home and I like that. I thought about all of the time I would be spending here and felt happy about it.

                A few days after that, I went to one of the local high schools named John Handley. They have this big hill behind the school, and if you walk to the top of it, you have the sweetest view of Winchester. I prayed for the kiddos there and for the future relationships that might develop through Young Life. I prayed that I wouldn’t compare my hometown to this new place, to not diminish it’s people and experiences, to not put it in a box. I prayed that I would have fresh eyes and a servant’s heart for these kids and this community.

                I got a job at Planet Fitness, and I’ve made some cool friends through that. All of the old people who work out there always seem to love the fact that I’m from Ohio ad laugh about how I say pop instead of soda.  Also, one asked me if my car was rusty and I told him I don’t think that’s a stereotype about people from Ohio? He laughed and walked away, and I am still confused.

                Besides missing my people back home, I’ve learned that moving away has proved not as scary as my anxiety tried to convince me it would be. Don’t get me wrong, some days are really hard and I struggle with being here and my heart aches. But I’ve realized I’m still doing a lot of the same things I did back home, here – Still eating lots of chicken, still being weird, and still crying at cute videos of weddings/soldiers coming home/home births. I’ve gained some new friends, new places to hang, and a new connection to Jesus I hadn’t yet experienced. He’s showing me what stepping out of the boat looks like – The risk in sinking, but the reward if I try to trust Him. But mostly that He’s here either way.

But that’s all for now! Just wanted to give a quick update on my life and to say hello. If any of you from Ohio are reading this, please give my mom a hug for me, thanks!

A Letter To My Black Friends

To my black friends… I am sorry.

I am sorry that you have been booed. Outcast. Set aside. Left out to die.

I am sorry that white people ask you to forget about slavery because, ‘it doesn’t happen anymore’, but we don’t dare forget 9/11 because it was an injustice to the American people. Because, ’it’s not the same!!!!” It’s been 16 years since 9/11 and we still grieve it. We still have moments of silence, still have memorials, and say, ‘DAMN THOSE TERRORISTS!!!!!’ And that’s okay.

.. Except for your torture lasted for years and years, more than just one day, which means so did your grief. Even when slavery ended, you still had years and years of oppression. Years where you couldn’t attend the same schools, use the same water fountain, walk into the same grocery store. And somehow, you should just forget about this. You should just forget that your great grandmother was raped by a white man and that was considered okay and normal and without repercussion. In fact – that’s half the reason her life was bought – so a white man could do with what he wanted with her body, whether that be to work his fields or fulfill his sexual desires.

I am sorry that the movement Black Lives Matter has been labeled satire, ridiculous, the movement with no basis, the movement that started for, ‘no reason.’ I am sorry that you had to create movement to stress the importance of your life. I am sorry that even though you created this movement, white people say it’s not important. That because it doesn’t affect them, or that, ‘that stuff doesn’t happen here,’ you MUST be wasting your time fighting for something that doesn’t need fighting for. I am sorry that they say ALL lives matter, all the while ignoring your life when you’ve been shot wrongfully by the ones who are supposed to protect it. I am sorry that the good cops aren’t always the ones in your neighborhood.

I am sorry that people rush to give me every reason why the BLM is a waste of time, why it doesn’t matter, why the reasons we peacefully protest aren’t even true. Yet they don’t say the same things about the KKK or the Westboro Baptist Church. In fact, they rarely even think of those acts of terrorism on a daily basis. They don’t denounce them the same way they denounce you and your skin color.

I am sorry that the few people who have claimed to be a part of the BLM movement and have harmed other humans, who have destroyed businesses and caught the streets on fire, are used to label the movement as an entirety.. But that the white people who have spat, hit, and called black people nigg**s at the Donald Trump rallies aren’t held to the same standard. I am sorry that those people ‘don’t represent every Trump supporter and what they believe,’ but that every person who supports BLM must be an idiot who isn’t educated.

I am sorry that you are a statistic.

I am sorry that Trayvon, Michael, Eric, Ezell, and Akai (and many more) had to be taken from you. I am sorry that I cry for them because I am heartbroken, but that you also cry because of fear that it might happen to you or your loved ones.

I am sorry that I am labeled a crybaby liberal for saying my heart is broken for you, but you are called a nigg** instead.

I am sorry that people still say the word nigg**.

I am sorry that I have lost Twitter followers for posting my beliefs and opinions, but that you have lost the lives of family members for the very same.

I am sorry that I don’t know enough of your black history, and that white people get pissed off that we don’t have White History Month.

I am sorry that I haven’t always stood up for you in the ways I should have when my white friends talk about you.

I am sorry that I have had hard circumstances and things I’ve had to overcome, but that it’s never been because of my skin color.

I am sorry that I can walk the streets at night and fear rape or kidnapping because I am a woman, not because I am white. I am sorry that you walk the streets at night and fear being raped, kidnapped, shot, and even killed, because you are black.

I am sorry that the store clerk stares at you and another employee ‘unsuspiciously’ follows you because you are black and they KNOW you are going to steal something.. But while they are wasting their time watching you, my white friend picks up something off the shelf and gets away with it.

I am sorry that this one kid I went to high school with said that, “98% of people on welfare are black, and that ‘they’ take advantage of the system, and definitely aren’t educated or even have a job.” But that most of the people I personally know abusing welfare are the white people around me. I am sorry they get to abuse the system and not be called names on social media, but that you are called a lazy ass black person.

I am sorry that my white friends want to be a part of your culture in every way except for the ways that get them shot and killed for no reason, and that they don't seem to understand why this is an issue.

I am sorry that there is not much at all that I can offer you besides the fact that I will walk beside you in protest, that I won’t keep quiet about the injustices I see happening around me, and that I will continue to pray for you.

I am sorry.

I am sorry for the million more things I can’t think of right now, and for the things I haven’t yet recognized. I am sorry that I even have to write this letter at all.

But mostly, I am sorry that I will never be able to understand your pain. I am sorry that I will never be able to walk in the exact same shoes as you, that I can’t walk the same path. I am sorry that white people think we are equal in 2017, but would never openly and willingly subject themselves to the same cruelty you have to endure every day.

I am sorry that you have to face all of this because you are black – but I am not sorry that you are black. And I hope you aren’t ever sorry for that either.