A Letter To My Black Friends

To my black friends… I am sorry.

I am sorry that you have been booed. Outcast. Set aside. Left out to die.

I am sorry that white people ask you to forget about slavery because, ‘it doesn’t happen anymore’, but we don’t dare forget 9/11 because it was an injustice to the American people. Because, ’it’s not the same!!!!” It’s been 16 years since 9/11 and we still grieve it. We still have moments of silence, still have memorials, and say, ‘DAMN THOSE TERRORISTS!!!!!’ And that’s okay.

.. Except for your torture lasted for years and years, more than just one day, which means so did your grief. Even when slavery ended, you still had years and years of oppression. Years where you couldn’t attend the same schools, use the same water fountain, walk into the same grocery store. And somehow, you should just forget about this. You should just forget that your great grandmother was raped by a white man and that was considered okay and normal and without repercussion. In fact – that’s half the reason her life was bought – so a white man could do with what he wanted with her body, whether that be to work his fields or fulfill his sexual desires.

I am sorry that the movement Black Lives Matter has been labeled satire, ridiculous, the movement with no basis, the movement that started for, ‘no reason.’ I am sorry that you had to create movement to stress the importance of your life. I am sorry that even though you created this movement, white people say it’s not important. That because it doesn’t affect them, or that, ‘that stuff doesn’t happen here,’ you MUST be wasting your time fighting for something that doesn’t need fighting for. I am sorry that they say ALL lives matter, all the while ignoring your life when you’ve been shot wrongfully by the ones who are supposed to protect it. I am sorry that the good cops aren’t always the ones in your neighborhood.

I am sorry that people rush to give me every reason why the BLM is a waste of time, why it doesn’t matter, why the reasons we peacefully protest aren’t even true. Yet they don’t say the same things about the KKK or the Westboro Baptist Church. In fact, they rarely even think of those acts of terrorism on a daily basis. They don’t denounce them the same way they denounce you and your skin color.

I am sorry that the few people who have claimed to be a part of the BLM movement and have harmed other humans, who have destroyed businesses and caught the streets on fire, are used to label the movement as an entirety.. But that the white people who have spat, hit, and called black people nigg**s at the Donald Trump rallies aren’t held to the same standard. I am sorry that those people ‘don’t represent every Trump supporter and what they believe,’ but that every person who supports BLM must be an idiot who isn’t educated.

I am sorry that you are a statistic.

I am sorry that Trayvon, Michael, Eric, Ezell, and Akai (and many more) had to be taken from you. I am sorry that I cry for them because I am heartbroken, but that you also cry because of fear that it might happen to you or your loved ones.

I am sorry that I am labeled a crybaby liberal for saying my heart is broken for you, but you are called a nigg** instead.

I am sorry that people still say the word nigg**.

I am sorry that I have lost Twitter followers for posting my beliefs and opinions, but that you have lost the lives of family members for the very same.

I am sorry that I don’t know enough of your black history, and that white people get pissed off that we don’t have White History Month.

I am sorry that I haven’t always stood up for you in the ways I should have when my white friends talk about you.

I am sorry that I have had hard circumstances and things I’ve had to overcome, but that it’s never been because of my skin color.

I am sorry that I can walk the streets at night and fear rape or kidnapping because I am a woman, not because I am white. I am sorry that you walk the streets at night and fear being raped, kidnapped, shot, and even killed, because you are black.

I am sorry that the store clerk stares at you and another employee ‘unsuspiciously’ follows you because you are black and they KNOW you are going to steal something.. But while they are wasting their time watching you, my white friend picks up something off the shelf and gets away with it.

I am sorry that this one kid I went to high school with said that, “98% of people on welfare are black, and that ‘they’ take advantage of the system, and definitely aren’t educated or even have a job.” But that most of the people I personally know abusing welfare are the white people around me. I am sorry they get to abuse the system and not be called names on social media, but that you are called a lazy ass black person.

I am sorry that my white friends want to be a part of your culture in every way except for the ways that get them shot and killed for no reason, and that they don't seem to understand why this is an issue.

I am sorry that there is not much at all that I can offer you besides the fact that I will walk beside you in protest, that I won’t keep quiet about the injustices I see happening around me, and that I will continue to pray for you.

I am sorry.

I am sorry for the million more things I can’t think of right now, and for the things I haven’t yet recognized. I am sorry that I even have to write this letter at all.

But mostly, I am sorry that I will never be able to understand your pain. I am sorry that I will never be able to walk in the exact same shoes as you, that I can’t walk the same path. I am sorry that white people think we are equal in 2017, but would never openly and willingly subject themselves to the same cruelty you have to endure every day.

I am sorry that you have to face all of this because you are black – but I am not sorry that you are black. And I hope you aren’t ever sorry for that either.